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Yesterday morning Ali and I were watching Breakin’ and I got to thinking about the current political situation. Stay with me here, it’s about to get a little funky.

I mean fun-kay.

No. No, I mean funky. Sorry.

Breakin’ from IMDb is about

A struggling young jazz dancer (Lucinda Dickey) meets up with two break-dancers. Together they become the sensation of the street crowds.

And during their rise to become the “sensation of the street crowds” they fight dance the rival dance crew. This has become the standard in dance movies as far as I can tell, anyway. Ali watches them all the time whenever they are on cable so I see bits and pieces of these movies and they all have some kind of dance fight in them. They may start out with words and shoves and some of the angriest stares you’ll ever see but they always end in dance fights and each team walks away with a little more respect for the other side.

There all the same. Breakin’, the one with the thug life ballerina, the one with that chick from The Fantastic Four and so on. The model can even be interpreted into other types of movies like the one starring that white guy from Detroit who was popular for a few months in 1999. They all use dance (or rap) to fight their battles and over come great odds like the closing of a neighborhood community center, proving the love of a tough down and out street dancer for the classically trained dancer, and other gripping cultural issues.

And that’s when it hit me. Dance brings people to together.

There has been all these town hall meetings across America dealing with health care reform, something this country desperately needs. Without getting too much into the politics of anything Ali and I have seen what the costs of not having (good) health insurance are and that is something that no American should have to go through.

Now at these town hall meetings I’m sure you’ve seen the news clips of people standing up and screaming their fears and opposition.

(There are many like this video, and worse.)

This is where my genius comes in. Yes. Genius. Are you sitting down for this? Go ahead. Sit. Brace yourself. I’ll wait.

…

All set? Cool.

Forget town hall meetings. By looking at the news all they do is devolve into screaming matches. The only thing that can bring these two sides together? That’s right. Dance.

No more town halls. Only dance halls. I have already written President Obama with my suggestions about dance hall meetings for health care and beyond. No more chairs, no more picket signs, no more battle lines. Only dance floors, pirouettes and pop n’ locks.

Imagine the two sides. Pro-reform, let’s call them The Sharks, and the Pro-Status quo, let’s call them The Jets. Now imagine them dancing. Singing. FOR AMERICA!

I like to be in America!
O.K. by me in America!
Ev’rything free in America
For a small fee in America!

Problem solved.

I even think President Obama should get out of his chair and dance while doing his YouTube videos. Nothing helps pass policy like jazz hands.

FOOL! Dancin’ don’t create problems! It solves ‘em!

The whole skit can be found here. If you can only handle a few seconds of this clip, make sure it’s the last 10 seconds.

Or as Ali would say I say it, “Kawffee Tawk.”

The other morning Ali looked at me all sad and pathetic and asked me to go to H.E.B. on my lunch break to get her a pound of coffee because she was all out. Ali likes the Breakfast Blend, and to her the H.E.B. kind is the best.

As I walked around the plethora of whole bean dispensers looking for Ali’s magic Breakfast Blend beans I noticed a weird middle aged man staring at the bean grinder. Intensely. And at that moment I knew he was going to be trouble.

I found the mystical Breakfast Blend beans and filled up a pound bag and walked to the grinders as far away from the weird dude as possible. But they were for hippie organic coffee only. So that meant I had to go stand next to weirdo goober person.

“Hey. Getting some coffee?” he observed annoyingly.
“Yeah. Looks that way.” I say with as much jerkiness that I can muster.

See, I hate small talk, especially with strangers. I don’t like talking to a lot of people I actually know, why would I want to talk to you, old weird dude?

“I never liked coffee all that much.” He followed up with.

And at that moment, I knew that I had been given the opportunity to screw with this guy.

“I can’t get enough of it,” I said, which is a huge lie because I hate coffee. But hey, any chance to screw with somebody, I jump on it.

“How much does a bag that size last you?” He asked, pointing to the one pound bag in my hand.
“Hmmm. About 2 or 3 days I guess.” (It lasts Ali 2-3 weeks.)
“Wow! You must drink coffee all day long!”

These types of people always find Ali and I. They want nothing to do but talk our ears off and we have no idea how to stop it. Most times I try to ignore them and move on as fast as possibly, but I think from now on I am just going to engage them right back.

And have fun with it.

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