Or as Ali would say I say it, “Kawffee Tawk.”
The other morning Ali looked at me all sad and pathetic and asked me to go to H.E.B. on my lunch break to get her a pound of coffee because she was all out. Ali likes the Breakfast Blend, and to her the H.E.B. kind is the best.
As I walked around the plethora of whole bean dispensers looking for Ali’s magic Breakfast Blend beans I noticed a weird middle aged man staring at the bean grinder. Intensely. And at that moment I knew he was going to be trouble.
I found the mystical Breakfast Blend beans and filled up a pound bag and walked to the grinders as far away from the weird dude as possible. But they were for hippie organic coffee only. So that meant I had to go stand next to weirdo goober person.
“Hey. Getting some coffee?” he observed annoyingly.
“Yeah. Looks that way.” I say with as much jerkiness that I can muster.
See, I hate small talk, especially with strangers. I don’t like talking to a lot of people I actually know, why would I want to talk to you, old weird dude?
“I never liked coffee all that much.” He followed up with.
And at that moment, I knew that I had been given the opportunity to screw with this guy.
“I can’t get enough of it,” I said, which is a huge lie because I hate coffee. But hey, any chance to screw with somebody, I jump on it.
“How much does a bag that size last you?” He asked, pointing to the one pound bag in my hand.
“Hmmm. About 2 or 3 days I guess.” (It lasts Ali 2-3 weeks.)
“Wow! You must drink coffee all day long!”
These types of people always find Ali and I. They want nothing to do but talk our ears off and we have no idea how to stop it. Most times I try to ignore them and move on as fast as possibly, but I think from now on I am just going to engage them right back.
And have fun with it.
(Also, any of you on Tumblr? Add me. http://hellamike.tumblr.com)
It’s like buttah!
Thank you for braving the crazy for my super-awesome-razzmatazz-magical coffee. I think we have have crazy magnets sewn into all of our clothes.
Yesterday I was at the store and some random crazy lady came up to me and started her banter with me. She was going on about how she liked my shirt. then she was talking about her work and her baby and life. I had never met this woman ever in her life and it was a really weird convo to have in the cereal isle. I kept trying to get away but she kept following me…literally….damn mental patients.
LOL ‘weird goober person’. I love the fact that you screw with people. It may be mean, but I’ve seen you in action, and it’s pretty damn hilarious. Also, I’ve seen the people that ‘find’ you and Ali and they sort of deserve what they get. LOL.
The ‘best’ part of this blog is that I could actually visualize this whole scene now that I’ve been there with you guys.
)
Also, I’m not getting email notifications about your blogs… so I’m sorry if I’ve missed them for awhile. I feel bad, but I blame the internet.
Love you! <3